So many changes

Seems like only yesterday...

People spout that phrase a lot.  And it's true (or seems to be) that while we are busy living our lives and making it from one sunrise to the next sunset we are caught up in daily life and before you know it, a whole slew of days has gone by.  A few weeks.  Months.  Years.  And after a while you might look up and think  "How did all this change occur?  Where was I when it was happening?  I'm not sure I'm on board with it."  I've said before, change is hard.  But that's a simplistic understatement that doesn't comfort anyone.

Struggle is optional, and I get that, but it's almost impossible not to struggle against things you don't want.  They're going to happen anyway, and you know it, but by struggling a little I think we all think we can slow the process.  What happens is, we make the process even harder to bear.

Things I didn't want to change this year, but they damn well did anyway:

My cat dying.

Friends at work leaving for different shifts, or just leaving altogether.

My role at my job.

My weight going up.

My hair falling out.

My kids moving away from me.

My husband hating his a job, then getting a new job, then being unhappy at the new job.

******

I guess I could continue listing shit I'm not happy about.  But that wouldn't make me feel better, and that's a little like struggling helplessly instead of finding ways to improve things.  I'm going to continue working on The Plan for Living, because its giving some order to my life right now.  Plus, it helps distract me, a little, in a more positive direction.  And also, I feel like I need to pull back from some of the people and things that are adding to the stress of the change. Its either that, or speak my mind to them and offend them forever.  I wish I could find a way to be authentic without creating more stress or problems for myself.  Maybe I will work on that next...