My sister and I have made a pact to make sure my mother is checked on regularly. We emailed and texted each other, picking days to call, days to visit. If this sounds kind of silly, remember that my sister and I are not really on friendly terms. So the least we can do is make sure that our mother knows that a couple of us are keeping an eye on her, ensuring we don't miss some valuable and important info. For example, her falling a couple of weeks ago as she was putting eye drops in...It's good to know about her mishaps so we can follow up. Maybe call an extra time or two, go down to Brenham and see her a little sooner. Its not hard to focus your efforts on the people you value most in life. Most folks do that just fine on a daily basis. What becomes tricky is getting someone else to think along those same lines. Luckily where Mother is concerned, we both want the best for her. We want her to be as active and independent as she can for as long as she can, and the key to that is keeping up with her so we know when the time comes to go to Plan B.
I believe there are some very hurt feelings still pretty close to the surface - for both of us. But we can both agree that we love Mother and want the best for her. So that's enough for now, and its nice to know I have someone to help. My hope is that we don't come to a place in time where we want something different where mom is concerned. Because that will make it harder for us to keep her best interests at heart. And pretty much guarantee that we won't find our way back as sisters.
Hi Gina, I just read your post about your mom and your relationship with your sister. I too have struggled in my relationship with my sister. She hurt our family deeply and I didn't have a relationship with her for years. As time has passed, the feelings of anger aren't as strong and we have mended and healed some along the way. Will our relationship ever be as close and loving as it once was? Probably not, but at least we can now speak to each other and when I visit CA we usually have coffee together. It took years to get to this point... I have prayed that God will help me to forgive her and softened my heart and hopefully hers also. I pray that God will soften your sister's heart and yours as well. You aren't alone. Sometimes I felt I was the only one that was estranged from my only sibling, but I'm not. It's definitely tough. I thought any sort of reconciliation was impossible. But it wasn't... with God all things are possible, and I am very thankful for that. I know I kinda rambled on, sorry... Praying for you.
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Lori
I think it shows a great amount of maturity to be able to enter into an agreement with someone with whom you don’t always agree. My two sons were driven apart years ago by my creepy ex-husband. As a consequence, despite the fact that my younger son would like to have a relationship, the older one is reticent to do so. I know how much time I have invested in, first checking on my mother to make sure she was OK, and now that she’s gone (exactly 5 years ago today) I check on my dad every day. It can be exhausting. I am an only child, and I cannot tell you how many times I have wished for a sibling to be able to share the load. I hope your relationship, such as it is, continues with your sister. Good luck!
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