Santa puked and I feel like doing the same

I feel like it took me forever to decorate for Christmas this year. 

But my plan left all of the decorating to do after I had already worked my 40 hour week:  The kids' tree, the mantel, the other odds and ends Christmas that goes up.  Christmas in just about every room - two trees, Christmas mugs, magnets on the fridge, mini trees in the china cabinet, decorated pillows, wreaths and pinecones.  Too much Christmas.
 

We have a beautiful home and it smells good and is clean, with indoor heat and plumbing, enough food in the fridge and freezer, clothes to wear.  I just dread the commercialism and materialism and stress the holidays bring.  But there are too many Santas and angels all over my house.

My daughter and I had a convo about it.
Me:  There is too damn much Christmas here.  I am toning it way down next year.  Going to give some of it to you to pretty up your place.
She: Christmas is good.
Me:  Yes.  But I feel stressed.  We own so much of it.  Every year I purge it.  Every year it seems to grow by itself!
She:  Oh that's no good.  I decorated my tree as I waited for the AT&T guy on Monday.
Me:  It's a lot to put up and take down.  We decorated the kids' tree and I. Am. Done.
She:  Santa puke is pretty.
Me:  Blergggggg

The reality is, all of the decor is just noise that drowns out the focus of the season itself.  I realize I probably should relax a little and try not to stress it.

Conversations with Paige

Paige is my husband's niece, so mine by marriage.  She was in her mid-twenties when she was "found down" in her apartment, after having a stroke the day before.  It was such a scary and terrible thing for her family, devastating for her parents.  My SIL, Sharon, devoted herself to caring for Paige, while losing a battle with breast cancer herself.  Very bad things can happen to good families.  

Paige still uses a walker and doesn't have a lot of muscle control on one side of her body.  An aspiring photographer and A student once, days from graduating with a great future ahead of her, the road sharply curved.  She's lost so much, and she suffers still. But every now and again we will have a conversation via text messaging and I say a prayer for her continued health and piece of mind.

 
Paige                                                                                                                   Me
{first day}
Raining???

Yes.  But still hot.  Ugh!

Shit...
Sorry..
Rain,
Sorry.. Sorry.

{next day}

Yeah, its raining right now.  I don't want to get out of my car and go to work.  I could just fall back asleep here!

I love you!!

The vertigo begins

About a month ago I had an expensive and drawn out experience in the ER.  It did rule out Big Bad Things.  Like stroke.  But I felt a little foolish the entire time, as I was in a pediatric facility.

It just so happens I had already scheduled an appointment with my regular doc the following Monday.  She took one look at my medical record and said  "Well, looks like you had the Million Dollar Work-up".  And that was true - they ordered everything under the sun.  But as my nurse said,  "you're already here and you made us pretty nervous."  Of course, my doc was not concerned with my symptoms.  So, now I have head and eye exercises, as well as "habituation exercise" to do daily, an incidental referral to an ortho doc for my tennis elbow, and I guess a little more piece of mind, with no extra pills to swallow.  

Positive interactions

There might be stressful things happening, but they don't define my every day.  Some nice, affirming things that have happened at work for a change:

 Roses where I work

 

*I stop into Dr. X's office to "hide" while I was waiting for my boss to meet with me.  She says I can come in and hide there any time.  She pauses at her work, and without turning around says "Gina, I really like working with you on the weekends".  

*I was in Walgreen's and see Dr. Y standing in an aisle so naturally I say,  "well, hello there!".  She responds, "Hi!  Are you going into work today?",  then she makes small talk with me, smiling all the while.  I didn't even think she would recognize me outside of work and she was very warm and friendly.

*The chaplain at work emailed me to say she had been thinking of me and remembered me in her prayers.  It almost made me cry - so nice. 

 And overall, I have felt a little better about my work situation with each week that passes.

Roll with it

Mark wanted me to cross stitch him a saying that he hears a lot nowadays:

Just roll with it.

For him, it means to acknowledge the changes, adjust, and move on.  I wish I felt as philosophical about it as he does.  And, although I like to cross stitch more colorful phrases, that wouldn't do for his office.  I can't have his boss and co-workers thinking I'm some sort of weirdo.

I have a small sewing box from the 70's with a jumble of  thread.  I have enough thread now to last me through a few years of cross stitching.  There are lots of bright reds, pinks, and blues. 

It took me a couple of days to complete. 

I popped it into a cheapie IKEA frame and had it ready for him to take to his office.

Then I sat on the floor in my bedroom, sorting the thread, unspooling it, saving the wooden spools, recycling the rest, and tidying up my stitching bag.  I guess I need to get busy on another project.

Happier Hours

Hubby and I have discovered that going out more often helps us reconnect. 

On a recent Friday we visited a wine bar in Round Rock and enjoyed some wines by the glass with a goat cheese appetizer - goat cheese, pecans, raspberry chipotle sauce.  The atmosphere on their outside deck was lovely - lots of shady trees and not too crowded.

Then it was off to Jack Allen's Kitchen where we indulged in Red Handed Smash and Grabs, a Pomegranate and Basil Martini, and my favorite drink of all time...

 

...the Mexican Martini.  Lest you think we drink too much, I might add that we also ate dinner and that these drinks were spread out over three hours.  Maybe old age is creeping up on us, but we aren't going to slow the Happy Hour roll anytime soon.  In fact it's a regular thing for me to ask "where are we are going this Friday?".  

Making her own choices

 Four years Chloe vowed she would get a dog when she graduated from college. 

At the time I advised her to be out on her own for awhile and make sure that was what she wanted.  She would need a yard, or at least a place to walk said doggie.  Time to spend playing with it and money to afford taking care of it.  Its a commitment - but I think she knew that.

 

Fast forward to last September, and she got herself a dog.  Meek and loving, he's a great companion.  And I'm sure she feels like she should be able to make all of her own decisions.  I support that. But then she decided she wanted a dog for that dog... 

I'm still going to give her advice and try to steer her away from some of the mistakes I made.  So a second dog?  Slow down there, girlie.

She did it anyway, and it was a learning experience. I'm sorry that I was unable to convince her to reconsider, but on the other hand its how she has learned what she really wants. 
For most of us, that's how we make our way through life, right? 

Silver Spurs

Mark and I are having a fine time in the Silver Spurs wine club of Driftwood Estates.  Every three months we attend the wine partay to pick up our three bottles and  enjoy another two while snacking and listening to music.  This last time we set up a little folding table we could stow a bottle in.  

 

The party comes with a free tasting or a glass of your choice of wine - we took the glass.  Plus a lunch - this time around we had the Chicken Tinga nachos and stuffed avocados from Trudy's.  And we may have brought some cheese, crackers, and sausage of our own to snack on.  Death by cheese!  Note to self:  pack the cooler and get it ready for next time.  We will need napkins, hand sanitizer, extra cash, sunscreen, water...

 

 It started out overcast but breezy and pleasant.  But by mid-afternoon the sun was blazing.  

We situated our chairs and table near a low rock wall that overlooks the bluff and the vineyard. The place fills up quickly, so we try to get there early and stake a claim.  I think next time we will have to find shade!

So pretty out here.  So wonderful to sit and sip your vino while listening to live music.  Everyone we meet out here is friendly, too.  We chatted up the people sitting next to us for about an hour.

And yes, I got sunburned in February!  But such a great afternoon. 

More and more

My mother turns 86 today.

Every passing birthday I realize that she won't be around forever, and I resolve to get up to see her more often.  And yet, she is a pretty healthy 86 year old.  Growing her own veggies, tending chickens, taking herself in her pickup truck to play 42 and to the library.  Her handwriting is as neat as always, her hearing intact, and she doesn't complain of anything more than feeling tired after working outside. 

Every time I visit her, she will ask me to take her shopping.  Which in itself, is not an issue, but it makes me worry.  I only visit her every couple of weeks at the most.  Surely she has shopping to do more often than that?  I just get this feeling that she isn't as comfortable getting out and about by herself as much as she used to.  And last time I visited, she mentioned that she wished I lived closer.  Who WOULDN'T want to live closer to a little extra love and help?  So, more and more I think about it.  And sometime sooner, rather than later, we need to look into getting her a little closer to Austin.

What I miss

There were a lot of things that I didn't love about my cat.  Things I knew I wouldn't miss, and I know that makes me sound like a meanie.  But there were just as many things about her that I did love, and they are things I find myself missing.

Her lounging on my bed, open to a belly rub.

Her loving to sit in open windows, sniffing the air.

Her being near me, no matter where I was in the house.  And usually waiting near the front door when I walked in from work.

Always near me.  She knew I was her person.

The ways and places she would nap.

 Her calm and sweet demeanor.

Her helpfulness with laundry.

 Her loyalty to me when I was recovering from knee surgery.

Her gently inquisitive ways.  She wouldn't even hurt a hamster.

Just sweet, gentle, unassuming, and perfect for all of us.  

I miss her.