My mother is getting on in age - 89 this year - and while we're concerned about her physical limitations sometimes, its her mental disposition that has me worried lately. Recently I visited her, and I wasn't in the door 5 minutes before she told me to come into the living room so she could talk to me. To make a long story short, she laid into me. She said I yelled at her in a previous phone conversation, called her a "bore" and said I told her "I was sick of hearing" about her eye troubles. When I told her I did not say those things, she said I was either a liar or losing more than my hearing. She said she was "quoting me" which could not have been so. When I reminded her of the facts - phone calls, letters, taking her for errands, bringing her lunch, cleaning, bringing her things she needs - she sneered and said "Oh yes, you are the perfect mother". She had a lot of negatives to say about my sister Alene, too. She told me she's been having bad dreams - could she have dreamt I said something?
I had spoken to her a couple of times that week and she seemed perfectly reasonable. She was insistent that I had done wrong. So I told her I would fix her a good lunch, then leave. The rest of the "visit" was awkward. She asked me if I wanted to "come look at this quilt you're not interested in" - again, something I never said. It was hard to turn the other cheek, but I did the best I could. She wouldn't allow me to clean or do anything to help her around the house or take her anywhere, so after lunch I hugged her and said goodbye. Then I went directly to meet my friend Carol at Saddlehorn a little earlier than we had planned. I'm not sure what the next step is in ensuring she has safe and happy golden years. Now I am a little more worried about the possibility that she has some dementia. What to do?
