Moving through hard times

sunset photo by Chloe

I guess most people call certain calendar dates and hard days "triggers"; birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.  Days where you feel the weight of life is heavier.  For example, in July I dread Mark's upcoming deathiversary.  Add to that issues at work, planning for retirement, loneliness, and just plain old blue days.  So I gathered another list of helpful things - this one for moving through tough times and tricky dates.

*Acknowledge your emotions, allowing yourself to express sadness/frustration/anger in a healthy way.  Crying is OK.  Recognize what is true for you in the moment, without judgement. Offer yourself kindness and compassion. Remember that everyone struggles sometimes - this is our shared humanity.

*Focus on what you can control - break big problems down into smaller parts then determine the next best step and move forward. Sometimes life will feel like one long learning experience.

*Prioritize your health and self-care, seeking out support as needed.  Maintain consistent routines for eating, sleeping, and how you spend your free time.  Spend some time outside in the sun, in nature.  Stay engaged with work at work, then leave it there when you go home.  Avoid living in your phone. 

*Practice gratitude daily and challenge your negative thoughts.  Remind yourself that tough times are temporary. 

*Stay true to yourself.  Engage in activities and people that align with your values and goals.  Protect your boundaries and avoid getting overstimulated by other people's negative energy - take a break from others when you need to.

Admittedly, this all sounds easier than it actually is.

Try looking at it another way

Do you remember that line from James and the Giant Peach?

Recently I have been thinking about this quote.  

Also the one by Mary Engelbreit: "If you don't like something, change it.  If you can't change it, change the way you feel about it."  Re-framing an issue can help us find solutions.  And breaking a problem down into smaller chunks often helps us make the first step.

Another approach to this same idea is the serenity prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

That's where I am at today with my job.  Admittedly, it is nether a problem, nor something I don't like!  It is a blessing to me, and my 32 year old new radiography student self would be pleased and relieved to know that I did finish school, secure a good job, and do well.

But some things about it fall into the above categories, and in order to continue doing what I do, I find I need to change how I look at my job, and the way I approach my shifts.  Because I would like to keep working in my field for another couple of years.  So here's my framework:

*Stay busy and engaged with work at work.  Avoid energy vampires who distract me.  Limit engagement that is not directly related to work tasks. Avoid venting and gossip.

*Plan and prep foods on Friday for the meals I take with me, and give me variety and healthy choices, making me feel jazzed about eating them.

*Aim to look my best.

*Prioritize getting to bed early on Friday nights so I am rested and ready for success.

*Organize a Review and Reference manual I can keep at my desk, so that I can be more of an approachable resource for shift-related matters.

*Volunteer for meaningful tasks that help the department as a whole, not specific individuals.  Avoid scrolling on my phone or computer in my downtime.

"Looking at it another way" means appreciating those things that make a job a worthwhile and meaningful part of my life, not something I am anxious to drop in favor of retirement.  Either way, I need something positive to engage my time and energy, and I also may as well get paid for it!

Something of an epiphany, no?