I recently had a conversation with my mother that left me, as usual, feeling less than comforted or satisfied. {She's at a disadvantage and its hard to connect with her on an emotional level} My mother is not my first choice of a person to share my thoughts, feelings, and fears with. Her advice is always a little disconnected from the individual she's talking to. It almost always is based on something she herself did, regardless of whether it gave good results.
Anyhoo.
The subject was "feeling happy". I told her I wanted to think I could have happiness someday - real happiness. Not just the day to day "this is fine" that gets you up and out of the house to your job, wearing clean clothes, with a packed lunch. Not the kind of happy that is only slightly opposite of spending so much time crying that you have no idea what you want to do with the rest of your life.
Her advice to me is that I "seek contentment". She thinks that "happy" is a fleeting, random feeling, like the one you get as you are eating a bowl of ice cream.
"I'm content, Gina. I have my chickens, my garden, the quilts I make. You need to find things to do that will make you feel content."
I don't know about you, but I think that happiness is so much more than that. Staying busy is a different thing altogether. To me, contentment is what I would describe as sort of acceptance that things are OK in this moment with a particular aspect of your life that may or may not be temporary.
Maybe I have it all wrong, but the way I see it is:
Joy is deep soul happiness
Happiness is the inner and outer peace that makes you see the world in a positive way
Contentment is satisfaction with where you are in life right now
I think you can have all three together, and that's what I truly want: My children and memories of a life with Mark evoke joy for me, my home gives me contentment. But happiness is something I want to add, so right now that's what I'm working on.
