Choosing mercy

Teach me to feel another's woe, to hide the fault I see, that mercy I to others show, that mercy show to me.  -Alexander Pope

 My mother's bottle tree - Spring '11

   My mother is a complicated person.  To others who might "write her off" she is opinionated with little to no filter, rigid in her thinking, and comes off as unfeeling.  To some extent she has always been that way.  Of  her 8 children, there are only three of us who accept and understand her.  I'm not gonna lie - it's very hard to look aside and brush off the things she says.  But if you truly know my mother's faults, then you know some other things about her, too.

She has huge regret over the past, and thinks about the sad things that happened on a daily basis.  She is highly intelligent, always learning new things (cell phones and computers not included).  She has unshakeable faith and believes in the power of prayer.  Being warm and fuzzy does not come naturally to her - so when she makes the effort to tell me she loves me, I know it comes from her heart.  She is physically strong and basically healthy, but I know the time I have with her may be limited as she is 85.  When the day comes to say goodbye I don't want to feel like I should have been a better daughter.  But I probably will.  So many times I said or did things I shouldn't have.  And many times I harbored resentment or anger.  I chose to forgive the slights, but I've been guilty of wasting time with it just the same.  

I need to choose mercy right then and there, and talk to her immediately instead of stewing over it after hanging up the phone.  I'm sure it would help to show myself a little mercy, too.