About 6 months ago, one of my sisters and I decided that in Mother's best interests we would pull together to keep closer tabs on her. We would inform each other of visits and how they went. We would each pick a day of the week to check on her. We check in with other for news of Mother - what we can do to help, how she is getting along. All of that is positive, and makes me feel like we are putting the important shit first. But when the old feelings come to the surface - I start to wonder if I made a mistake.
I'm aware that I sound like a crazy person sometimes but there is history. I don't want to play games. Life is not a race for first place. I know my mother loves us both, and I am happy to do what I can for her, and even happier that I have at least one other sibling out of six that is on somewhat the same page. It's not about me, I get it.
I wish things were different. But they aren't. Not yet.
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