A List for Parents of Things to Do

Mark about drove me to say bad words this morning as he arranged a "conference call" to a person he didn't even know at the A&M admissions office.  Without some sort of agenda for the call, it was an exercise in futility.  I get that he wants to help expedite a process, but seriously.

I think that we have to go about this the right way - with a plan at least, or a script for talking to people and for God's sake, get a NAME of who you talked to before.  And I would much rather coach Grayson (if that's even needed, which I think it probably is) on what questions to ask for specific information rather than just take over.  Plus, if you're going to include me, which he did, maybe get my input?  Maybe don't tell me that once Gray gets into A&M (if he even does with his C in calculus) that you are done helping and going to wash your hands of it?  Maybe don't make me want to throttle you in the morning just before you need to leave for work?

Gray has had a rough week and I want him to have time to process what is going on in his personal life and get his wits about him so he can be an active participant in moving forward to a university.  We need to sit down and make a plan.

Dream feelings #6

I am in a high school that looks very grungy, industrial.  Its all shades of grey and black - very dark.  I am meant to be parking in the underground garage to pick up Spencer and there are dark figures milling around in there.  I don't feel particularly safe, but I am not leaving without him.  A couple of them try to engage me - but I somehow brush them off and proceed up some concrete stairs until I reach a room where Spencer is sleeping in a bunk.  It looks like a prison.  There are a couple of other boys asleep in the room, too.  I wake him up feeling panicky that I wasn't there right when school let out.  Why is he asleep?  How long has he been waiting for me?  He is groggy, but gets up to go.  We have to find our way back down to the parking garage and locate my car.  I am ignoring sketchy people all the way down the stairwell to find my car.   The dream ends before we find the car, but I felt determined, like I had the situation, bleak as it was, well in hand.  When I woke from this dream, it made me feel very sad = had I let him down?  Spencer looked so young and lost.  Though I felt like I had to keep going until I found him and brought him out of that place,  I wasn't sure that I was going to be successful at it.  I just knew I couldn't give up.

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Just typing out this dream makes me feel like crying.  Spencer came over for Mother's Day dinner last night and I thought that he looked good - so young.  He's making his way through life as a young adult and I hope he is happy.  I guess I still have worries and concerns over whether or not I did a good job as his mom - I felt very unsure of myself at times but I was determined  to stay the course for him and do my best.