I am OK

 I'm not sure how it happened that I arranged so much time off from work this summer.  Its not like I went anywhere special.  But I have managed to take a few Mondays off here and there, and whereas before, I was having a hard time with boredom on those days, it has evolved into something more pleasant.  Time to spend in the sewing room. Or working on a puzzle.  Or catching up on my reading.  And just generally finding some peace in the days leading up to the 4th anniversary of Mark's death. 

 

I have managed to fill some time this summer with outside activities, too.  Meeting a friend for coffee, enjoying outdoor concerts, seeing a play, going to a gin tasting, attending a tranquility luncheon at work, lunch al fresco at parks, and plenty of rest time after working on various projects at the house.  Although I have struggled at times, I have not given up.  Everything is not all sunshine and roses - I did have an issue with my shoulder, and a blocked tear duct. (ouch on both)  National and world news feels mostly bad, the heat and rain seemed unrelenting.  But I have been able to move through my days relatively calmly.  Four years ago, I could not have imagined all that would transpire because I could barely see as far as the next day.  I had so little faith in myself and barely knew my own mind.  The old Gina was in there, somewhere, I've just had to coax her out.  I'm getting closer to where I want to be and I feel much better.  I wonder how things will be this time next year?