What do you do to relax?

I am also planning my first mini-vacay in years

This is a thought-provoking question for me.  I feel like I haven't done any real relaxing in about 5 years.  So, I decided to make one day per week an "empty" day, where I can focus solely on myself (not chores, not projects, not a to-do list, no appointments) If I want to just sit on my couch and stare at a wall, so be it.   However, I feel like I will read or nap, sit outside on the deck, maybe go thrifting, do whatever.  If I get behind in my house plans, then that will have to be OK. But the reality is, I already do too much, and I have for years. I have always filled my days up with productivity, like I somehow had to justify being at home while Mark was at work.  Never mind that I also had a job and was a full-time mom of four.  My needs were always last, and free time was never free. I am sure that's what's behind all the stress I feel at home now.  I am filling my days with motion and it's a hard habit to break. Maybe I am tiring myself out on purpose.  I am being productive - but at what cost to me?  Figuring out life now with a completely empty nest has been a challenge.  Time to pencil in some empty time.

When I make mistakes

Two things I know about me:

1.  I am hard on myself for making mistakes.  I will either immediately take the blame and begin chastising myself, or I will try to rectify it quickly in a panic.  Either way, I punish myself with guilt and feelings of low self-worth, no matter the size of the mistake.

2.  I ruminate over my mistakes and try to make sense of them even when there's not a clear reason for them. (sometimes things just "happen" and are unavoidable).

I try to remind myself that I am human and inherently flawed.  That the universe is random, with lots of moving parts, and all of us are having this experience.  The fact that everyone makes mistakes is not tied to low morality or intelligence.  How could it be when we all make mistakes?  The good I do outweighs the bad and does not define me as a person.  The big picture is more important than my mistakes - there is a balance.  What matters is that I am trying to make the right decisions and sometimes I do not, but I still continue to strive for my best.  I dislike it when I fail, but it happens. 

 I am kind to others that fail, especially at work, because I know how it feels for them. 

Do I not deserve the same kindness from myself?