Falling down

Warning:  gore galore.

I fell on the gravelly sidewalk outside of the Erwin Center after graduation.  I was navigating through crowds in blazing sun.  I guess I lost my footing - I have no idea how it happened.  But I didn't faint, certainly, and I wasn't dizzy or anything.  It just happened.

 

I even walked plenty after it happened - around to the where the school buses were parked to take carpoolers back to north Austin.  On the bus riding home I told Scout it hurt really bad, and I took a picture to show him.  I don't think all of my peeps realized I fell.  Oooh nice, skin hanging by a thread.

The next morning I didn't think it looked too bad - save for the skin still there, which Hubby insisted I trim off.  It hurt, but I carried on with my weekend.  We went to a winery and hung out at Highlands.  I was doctoring it best I could.  

Hang on a minute - it seems to be progressing to worse.

  Oh my goodness, it hurt so bad.  I had to either wear shorts or keep it under soft gauze.  Having anything touch it sent me over the edge. 

I thought it was getting infected, too, so I made an appointment to see my doc about five days in.  She said, no looks like it's trying to heal.

A couple of days after that, above. I think I probably have a big bruise under there, too.

Eight days later, it still hurts, and is super itchy which means that the skin is healing, much like a healing sunburn.  I never had beautiful legs, so I'm not pining for perfect skin.  I just wish it hadn't happened.  In any case, it didn't hamper the happy of the occasion, and I have soldiered on.

But, damn.

The weight of a quilt

Last week I visited my mother and admired a quilt that she had just finished for a great great nephew of mine.  I helped her with it, even.  It had little boys appliqued in calico, each holding a toy or a treat. I drew the things the boys were holding or playing with.

It was fun to see the art I had drawn, all embroidered on the quilt.  And as usual I complimented her on it.  We had an okay visit - I helped her locate a ring she though she had lost, ran her over to a feed store for seed potatoes, and took her out for lunch. But after lunch she told me that she wanted a baby quilt back that she had given me when Grayson was born.  She said I "guilted" her into giving it to me.  I don't even remember having a conversation about baby quilts when Gray was born.  Having her make a quilt for him is not even something I would have mentioned to her. 

Something about her telling me she wants it back makes me dig my heels in even harder.  Because, why?  What does an 87 year old person want with a baby quilt she gave to me as a gift? And why wait 18 years to tell me she regretted giving it to me and wants it back?  Um, too late.  

The short answer was no, but I wrote her a letter today and mentioned the quilt at the end of the letter.  I told her I hoped she wasn't serious about wanting it back.  That I had it stored away in a safe place awaiting it's future owner - my first grandchild.  And I just left it at that.  I am hoping we won't have to have words over it. I would never ask for a gift back from a person, because I give gifts with no strings attached.  And, things are not love.  Love is love.  But asking for something back that you gave in love, is like asking for the love back.

Resolutions

I didn't make a whole lot of New Year's resolutions this year, but I am resolved to do some things differently. 

I've started on a few of these things already, so I feel like I have moved into the action phase.  I'm also trying really really hard not to vent so much about work to my co-workers.  I'm sure they understand, but it would be hard for them to only hear the negatives come out of my mouth. I am trying to make an effort to narrow down who I chat with and how often I lapse into ranting. What I say to myself for redirection is somewhere along the lines of  "focus on self-improvement and health".  If resolutions were easy we wouldn't have to make them every year, right?

Santa puked and I feel like doing the same

I feel like it took me forever to decorate for Christmas this year. 

But my plan left all of the decorating to do after I had already worked my 40 hour week:  The kids' tree, the mantel, the other odds and ends Christmas that goes up.  Christmas in just about every room - two trees, Christmas mugs, magnets on the fridge, mini trees in the china cabinet, decorated pillows, wreaths and pinecones.  Too much Christmas.
 

We have a beautiful home and it smells good and is clean, with indoor heat and plumbing, enough food in the fridge and freezer, clothes to wear.  I just dread the commercialism and materialism and stress the holidays bring.  But there are too many Santas and angels all over my house.

My daughter and I had a convo about it.
Me:  There is too damn much Christmas here.  I am toning it way down next year.  Going to give some of it to you to pretty up your place.
She: Christmas is good.
Me:  Yes.  But I feel stressed.  We own so much of it.  Every year I purge it.  Every year it seems to grow by itself!
She:  Oh that's no good.  I decorated my tree as I waited for the AT&T guy on Monday.
Me:  It's a lot to put up and take down.  We decorated the kids' tree and I. Am. Done.
She:  Santa puke is pretty.
Me:  Blergggggg

The reality is, all of the decor is just noise that drowns out the focus of the season itself.  I realize I probably should relax a little and try not to stress it.

The vertigo begins

About a month ago I had an expensive and drawn out experience in the ER.  It did rule out Big Bad Things.  Like stroke.  But I felt a little foolish the entire time, as I was in a pediatric facility.

It just so happens I had already scheduled an appointment with my regular doc the following Monday.  She took one look at my medical record and said  "Well, looks like you had the Million Dollar Work-up".  And that was true - they ordered everything under the sun.  But as my nurse said,  "you're already here and you made us pretty nervous."  Of course, my doc was not concerned with my symptoms.  So, now I have head and eye exercises, as well as "habituation exercise" to do daily, an incidental referral to an ortho doc for my tennis elbow, and I guess a little more piece of mind, with no extra pills to swallow.  

Happier Hours

Hubby and I have discovered that going out more often helps us reconnect. 

On a recent Friday we visited a wine bar in Round Rock and enjoyed some wines by the glass with a goat cheese appetizer - goat cheese, pecans, raspberry chipotle sauce.  The atmosphere on their outside deck was lovely - lots of shady trees and not too crowded.

Then it was off to Jack Allen's Kitchen where we indulged in Red Handed Smash and Grabs, a Pomegranate and Basil Martini, and my favorite drink of all time...

 

...the Mexican Martini.  Lest you think we drink too much, I might add that we also ate dinner and that these drinks were spread out over three hours.  Maybe old age is creeping up on us, but we aren't going to slow the Happy Hour roll anytime soon.  In fact it's a regular thing for me to ask "where are we are going this Friday?".  

More and more

My mother turns 86 today.

Every passing birthday I realize that she won't be around forever, and I resolve to get up to see her more often.  And yet, she is a pretty healthy 86 year old.  Growing her own veggies, tending chickens, taking herself in her pickup truck to play 42 and to the library.  Her handwriting is as neat as always, her hearing intact, and she doesn't complain of anything more than feeling tired after working outside. 

Every time I visit her, she will ask me to take her shopping.  Which in itself, is not an issue, but it makes me worry.  I only visit her every couple of weeks at the most.  Surely she has shopping to do more often than that?  I just get this feeling that she isn't as comfortable getting out and about by herself as much as she used to.  And last time I visited, she mentioned that she wished I lived closer.  Who WOULDN'T want to live closer to a little extra love and help?  So, more and more I think about it.  And sometime sooner, rather than later, we need to look into getting her a little closer to Austin.