Happy things for January 2023

 I don't know why its been so long since I've written one of these, but here's the first one for the New Year.  

*My home, which has everything I need to feel comfortable and safe. 

*My health, which seems to be on an even keel. 

*My car, which Subaru has agreed to pay half of the pricey auto repair recommended to me back in November.  

Those are the most important things to be happy about right now, though there are small ones that occur to me from time to time.  I like the way my back patio functions now after removing things I did not want and adding things I did. I have books to read and things to stitch.  I have friends I can vent to, joke with, bounce ideas off of.  And I have lots to looks forward to!

A grief letter to an old friend

I met up with a friend for a beer last week.  As always, she was understanding and kind and gave me some good things to think about.  It occurred to me afterwards that I never wrote a grief letter to another friend of mine - we have struggled with staying connected.  In frustration, I blocked her on my phone and then remembered the idea of the letter to express what I felt.  {A grief letter is intended to let someone know how you feel, what you need, and what you wish they would understand as you travel through grief} 

I sent it to her, via snail mail.

And as always, I second-guessed myself.  Did the letter seem too harsh and self-centered?  Did I consider the stress and helplessness that she, living far away from me, might have felt?  I do feel as though I expressed many times to her what I needed, but she really didn't understand.  It was so hard to redirect her, and ultimately not successful.  But I think it is important to be honest with her.  Only time will tell if the friendship survives.

update:  As of March 2025, we still aren't talking.  My letter said that I thought we should take a break from texting each other, but I didn't say how long.  She wrote back and agreed, but also didn't ask how long.  So here we are, at an impasse. It feels pointless to contact her after all this time.  So maybe the kindest thing we can do is let the other just be.