Things I wish I could do over*

I'm sure that a lot of people play this game with themselves.  {Its kind of like spending the imaginary Lotto millions you've just won.}  If you could only go back in time and re-do things that you now have 20/20 hindsight on, right?  Maybe you are remembering a happier time and just want to re-live it.  Recently Grayson told me he wanted to be 16 again -  when he was happy.  My heart broke a little.  Being 16 is something I would do over, too, but for different reasons. 

When I was 16 I lacked discipline and direction.  I was chasing things instead of working hard to attain what I wanted.  I dreamed and wished for a life that I wasn't actively working toward achieving.  And I wasn't a particularly nice person because I was so dissatisfied with my lot in life.  I lost my way with my religion, relationships, self-respect.  And all of that was when I had the initial opportunity at maturity, having made good grades, gotten a driver's license and a part time job, and attained some status in high school circles.

me at 16

So.  With that being said.  Here's what I would do differently starting at 16:

*focused on what I wanted to do for a living someday, and apply for jobs and opportunities that would have taught me something as a basis for future endeavors.  While employed I would have maintained a high standard of honesty and hard work, limiting my absenteeism, gaining insight from my peers and supervisors, and learning how to manage my money.

*enjoyed all of the opportunities high school had to offer instead of being so laser-focused on popularity, drill team, and boys. Taken college prep level classes from the get-go.

*pick the university I wanted to attend based on my future goals, graduated on time, working part time and keeping my grades high. Started applying for post college jobs sooner.

*Dated more than one or two people in high school.  Said no to things I shouldn't have been doing.  Been responsible for my own health and well-being.  Kept the lines of communication open with my mother and asked for her input.

*Been a better person overall, made worthwhile connections and met more people.  Told my family I loved them and honored those relationships.  Gone to church with my mother.  Taken care of my body and my overall mental and physical health.  Asked for help.

*Plotted a course, walked the path, held my head up, made myself proud.

Its like they say:  youth is wasted on the young.

*still following a series of prompts