For 2023, I wrote Mark telling him about my year. Turns out that 2024 was better, as I had hoped! I used the blank pages in my planner as a journal, and jotted down monthly thoughts. I made very few "resolutions": limit spending, drink less alcohol, add in exercise, stick to my planner, accomplish one important task per month, spend less time on my phone, read for pleasure. Basically, just take care of my life.
January - Got the back yard fence repaired, replaced Subie headlamp bulb myself!, got legal paperwork for Rustown, repainted the bathroom cabinets, had plumber install new kitchen faucet and P trap, paid another plumber $$$ to do some major valve repair work outside, water and ice maker went kaput on fridge, took my car into dealer for repairs, took Mom's death certificate to Chase, remembered Mark on his birthday. Thought: Accept uncertainty.
February - Got the Ring app reinstalled on my phone and took over the account, got my chipped front teeth repaired, got his Nationwide retirement rollover sent to my account, got improved lab results from my doc visit, got my car worked on. Thoughts: Living your best life looks like having a home that reflects who you are and has what you need, driving a safe and comfortable vehicle, spending time with family and friends, taking part in activities for learning and enrichment, intentional living on your own terms.
March - Sent $ to senior center in Brenham in honor of Mom's birthday, put the Baja in my name, cleaned out his dresser, donated all of the vintage camera equipment that Dylan didn't want, got a quote on house repairs and painting, took ham radios to the recycling place, emptied Mom's house with sisters. Thoughts: You might not have control over a situation, but you are in control of how you react and move forward.
April - Dealt with items from Mom's house, mailed Jim's mementos to his daughter, watched the eclipse, bundled cut photinia limbs with Dylan's help, set out the last of the big trash from the attic, took steel cabinet and car pipes to metal recycle center, did some landscaping work, got house repaired and painted, paid a shit ton of money to IRS, started looking in earnest for therapist, lots of crying. Thoughts: you need to let go of trying to engage people who are not reciprocating.
May - More crying. Started seeing a dietician, cancelled the last wine club, Gray got a new job and is paying his own bills, started walking, experienced a lot of stress at work, took care of large limb that fell in the backyard, gave away some more things from the garage, felt angry over cooking. Thoughts: No one is coming to rescue me. I am fully in charge and accountable. I can make decisions based on experience, knowledge, and contemplation. I am capable of doing what needs to be done. I am a loving, thinking person who can make intelligent choices and live life authentically.
June - Continued walking, made appts for podiatry/audiology/PCP/vision, paid more attention to my nutrition, took a few of Mom's things over to my sister, cleaned the outside windows, scrubbed and sealed the deck, started an antidepressant, called estranged sisters to get info for executor, got curb wraps for driveway installed. Thoughts: I spent some time feeling angry over things I have little control over, but I celebrated small wins to change my mindset.
July - Refined my health goals, got a mammo, did a bunch of small fix-its around the house, went to a movie, got my teeth cleaned, had lab work done, started working with case manager to find therapist. Thoughts: Allow yourself to embrace your trauma, then work on your whole life, separate and apart from the bad thing that happened.
August - Resolved to limit phone time, had the oaks pruned, stopped worrying about the boys, talked to Dylan about moving out, cleaned Grayson's room which was a mistake, did various indoor projects to escape the heat, got the roof inspected. Thoughts: If life isn't loveable yet, work on making it so.
September - Lost a bit of weight, had a scalp biopsy done, got my first tattoo, got my flu and RSV vaccines, arranged for Mom and Jim's headstone, got stitches out of scalp, found a therapist, spent some time processing and crying, continued to meet with dietician. Thoughts: If you don't know what to pursue in life right now, pursue yourself.
October - Spent time alone at Getaway Cabins in Wimberley, thought of him on our anniversary, followed up with dermatologist about hair loss, continued seeing therapist and dietician, lost a bit more weight, met with financial planner, enjoyed birthday pizza with Dylan and Grayson on Halloween, got a haircut. Thoughts: I made a plan to host Thanksgiving based on my peeps being adults, choosing to be together, and accommodating my work schedule. And it was amazing.
November - Did a food sensitivity test, got a payoff quote for Rustown, met with audiologist, bought a new fire extinguisher, got another tattoo, bought a new car and traded in the truck, sold my old car to Grayson, took myself out to dinner and a concert for my birthday, worked on Thanksgiving Day, made a plan for Christmas. Thoughts: I am thankful that my general health is improved.
December - I made it to December with better health and a plan for moving peacefully through the holidays. I made a couple of creative gifts, stayed within a budget, missed him and felt blue, took the last of Mom's jewelry in to the jeweler for repair, made headway in therapy, went to church on Christmas Eve, enjoyed a peaceful Christmas day with the peeps, went to a movie, worked on a puzzle, started a new cross stitch project, and enjoyed some downtime before the new year. Unlike December 2023, I didn't spend whole days crying or laying on the couch for hours at a time. I am beginning to thrive.
Hopefully this recap will look even better in 2025.
No comments:
Post a Comment