My independent life

Looks like I'm on a roll with blog posts.  Who knew I had so much to say?

(pretty much everyone, Gina)

Instead of a "happy things" post I made a list of how life has improved for me over the last four years.  I bet few widows can process that while they are in the throes of grieving.  It has certainly taken me awhile to realize it for myself.  But there are some things that I can say are better in 2025:

*My home is no longer stuffed and cluttered with crap I don't want or use.  This includes the outside spaces, too.  I have done much work on it.  Sadly, Mark was waiting on putting the house on the market and had lost interest in spiffing it up for us.

*I don't have a hangover every Monday from drinking all weekend.  And I don't feel resentful that the weekend actually created more work for me to catch up on before Monday began.  I don't have the added burden of taking care of planning/cleaning/organizing/food prep/laundry from weekends at Highlands.

*I decide what to cook and what time to eat.  My grocery list is shorter, so it's faster and easier to shop.

*My chore list is much smaller.  I do laundry for me only, and I don't iron for anyone.  I'm not changing sheets on two beds. The house pretty much stays neat and clean, without stacks of things sitting there waiting to be dealt with. The kitchen stays clean.

*I am no longer exhausted daily because I only answer to myself and I make sure I have time to rest.  I realize that I have limits and I am OK saying no to things that zap my peace and energy.

 Are there drawbacks to this level of independence?  No one is coming to rescue me, so I have to do those things for myself, anyway.  The "empty nest" thing is real, though.

A lot of times I am worried about a particular home repair, or how I will manage a health issue in the future, loneliness of course, and managing my money.  But I am doing my best to live in the present moment and enjoy my life, making the smartest choices I can. 

Is it that way for most widows, I wonder?