Baby Steps

I've talked a lot with my physical therapist and counseling lady about baby steps and how frustrating they are.  I know that baby steps move you FORWARDS, not backwards.  {Otherwise they wouldn't be called steps.  They'd be more like Fall on Your Ass's.} I'm so anxious to make progress that's measureable in more than one or two increments.  When you add up the increments, I know there's something more substantial there.  It's just hard to be patient and wait for the drops to form an ocean.

 I am not known for being patient.  I want to rush to the next step.  Literally.  I almost lost control of my shopping cart in Wal-Mart the other day because I said "Let's see how fast I can go".  The answer was: Not.  That's not going to work for me at work.  I cannot just sit or stand there.  And I cannot shuffle like a hundred year old woman on the way to a stat portable.  Yet, I also cannot fall and create a scene. So.  There's an issue. But I really need to keep trying even so.

 

  I do seem to have Fear in spades.

I am trying so hard to remember to keep the faith.  I worry.  Will the Gina that returns in April  get things done like the Old Gina?  Including moving down the halls with urgency when she needs to?  The New Gina is still the same core person: hardworking, loyal, conscientious, professional, caring.  Surely there is the same value to her as before.  Being Speedy Gonzales - that's a questionable trait anyway.  The boss says he wants quality over quantity, and in theory, I agree.  I just want to be able to move at a reasonable pace. Maybe that should be my new aim - a reasonable pace.  Not a race.  Baby steps that get me where I need to go is reasonable.

 I really need to leave the house more often, too.