Imperfectly functional

 I'm getting better at not obsessing over my lumpy, bumpy, still swollen left knee.  It's functional.  I'm happy about being able to walk, truly.

 Every time I asked about the swelling the PT bit my head off.  And the nurse and ortho doc said don't sweat it.  But it's been 8 months.  How long does it take anyway?

It's not a huge difference, but still.  It's there.  If I mash around on it, it isn't firm.  So, I know there's fluid in there.  It doesn't hurt when I walk. But when I go to the pool to work it out, I can make it hurt, just by exertion.  Maybe that part will always be with me.  I don't know if it's related to the swelling or not. I'm not really sure where the pain originates from.  Arthritis?

I know I should be focused on other things: mastering the stairs, for example.  And walking confidently in flip flops or heels.  I'm not trying to be vain about it, I'm just wondering.  

My knee works.

I'm not in constant pain, though it will stiffen up if I sit too long.

I should be happy it all worked out, I know.

It's just that it was hell getting to this point, and I think maybe I shouldn't focus on the swelling, the scars, the loss of strength.  But to get it back to looking normal is closer to perfect than imperfect.  

Is 'perfect' reasonable?  I feel annoyed about it.