Its coming up on three years since Mark died. I think about how different life is now and how much has stayed the same. Along with change with my house, there have been changes in myself as well. I would love to say I have weathered these changes with grace, but most times I felt like I was just being pulled a long in a raging flood of muck.
One of the best things to happen is that I am focused more on my health than I have ever been. Lip service gave way to real improvement. And it shocks me to realize how badly I was taking care of myself before. What was I thinking.
I remember talking to Mark about changes we needed to make in our life and sometimes he was on board, other times, not so much. There were things that had needed to be done at Rustown for years that we didn't get done, simply because all of our resources were going to Highlands. And the same can be said about health changes we needed to make. It kind of makes me feel sad when I think on it.
All that love poured into Highlands and so little into ourselves.
All I can do is move forward with what I need to do in life. Not just for my home, but for myself as well. And that has become the biggest project of all.
We, too, at one time had a city house, a recreational cabin and two full time jobs. When we sold them, we vowed never to own two places at one time until we were fully retired. Our city place suffered because on the weekends, all we wanted to do was head out to the cabin. I believe things are going to get much better for you; hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI applaud your positive changes. You've been doing hard work on many fronts. Be proud of your progress.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear good news. It will be 3 years, Nov 21 when I lost Greg. I still go to his grave once a month. I think that's just for my mental mood. My ex lost his wife last week. I'm in mixed emotions over that. I really do feel for him because this is the first time in his life he has been alone, whereas he left me alone for 5 years for her before I felt like seeing someone and finally found Greg. Now it will soon be another 3 years of being alone. I think the feeling I'm now glad to get rid of is awkwardness of being around his wife during family events. That kind of makes me feel guilty to feel better.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your new healthy life.