Saturday, February 1, 2025

Dream feelings #10 and #11

 Two similar dreams, two nights in a row.

#10 - Nothing about the place feels familiar, but I know I am standing in my mother's kitchen hand washing dishes with someone I think is my sister/daughter.  I hand her a soapy dish which she is to rinse, but she just stands there holding the dish as there is no where to rinse it or place it to dry.  I become annoyed and tell her she needs to help!  She disappears.  I am increasingly stressed as I realize its not just the kitchen I have to help clean but the whole house, which feels very large and messy.  Everyone else who was in the background also disappears and leaves the door open. I am alone, thinking how can I possible get all of this done? The dream ends.


#11 -  I am decorating a small artificial Christmas tree that someone else had already started, as evidenced by clumps of candy canes tied onto it.  I realize that the tree has not been fluffed so I have to do that first, and the tree is sitting in a place where we can't get to it to decorate, like a recessed area on the floor.  But no one else is helping me do it.  Someone tells me that its not finished because there are kitties/puppies somewhere nearby, but I continue working on it anyway, moving the tree, trying to fluff it out.  Then I get annoyed that no one else is really helping me get it done. The dream ends.

I'm a little surprised that I managed to remember so much of each dream as I didn't write them down right when I awoke.  They really may as well be the same dream: I am doing something alone, that I need help with, and everyone leaves me to it.  Important themes: large house, holidays, loneliness, leftover messes for me to deal with, small animals = kids, resentment.


Saturday, January 25, 2025

My superpowers*

I think its a good idea to stop now and again and remind myself that although I may need improvement in some areas of life, in others I got this! 

I am strong and resilient, physically and mentally.  Even when I've been very down, I manage to get up every day.  This is something I have gotten better at as I age. 
I try to stop and listen to others and seek to understand them before making myself understood. I can keep a secret and am loyal to my friends. I want to be the person you can lean on. I also ask for and consider all the advice I am given.
I am a champion List Maker and rely on it to help me move through the day.  I like to be organized.


I have a good sense of humor and I like to laugh with others, but I also believe in a good cry.  Holding my feelings in is not for me. I can express myself fully.
I have a knack for getting lost while driving, no matter how close it is to my house or whether Google maps is helping me.  Its something I'm resigned to now.
I am a words person, not a numbers person, so don't come at me with anything other than simple math. I credit this to all the reading I have done and word puzzles I like to do. 






*I'm following a series of prompts for a few posts

Saturday, January 4, 2025

Happy things for January 2025 - my favorite month

*Dylan will be moving into his own apartment and apparently, Grayson was inspired to also look for a place.  I have worries and fears associated with this, but I see it as an overall positive step for these two young men. Spencer is in a better living situation as well.

*Gray and I both have decent cars now and I will soon sell the Baja.  That will be the last big auto thing to be done and will be a weight off my mind.

*The garage is looking better and better with a bunch of stuff to be gone this month (mostly Dylan's).  I will have room to move things around to paint in there.

I even started a new snarky cross stitch!

*In January I start the yearly purge and clean of the kitchen and closets. I ordered a liner for under the kitchen sink cabinet, and new shelf liner for the pantry.  I want to get things in the kitchen pretty, not just organized. Then I'm going to work on buying some pantry items for long term food storage.

*I continue to make progress with the health goals I have set for myself.  I gave myself some grace over the "holidays" because there were blue days and food days. I managed to get out of the house, keep my telehealth appointments, and not gain weight. So I am counting December as a win!

martinis are a holiday tradition

*I took some things to my favorite jeweler for repair and revision and I know it will be a big bill, but January seemed like the perfect time to get them done. Jewelry is mean to be worn, right?  All of it has sentimental value and special meaning to me.

All in all, I am carefully optimistic for January!