Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Dream feelings #4

I can't make this post short and sweet - Hubby looked at me like I had grown another head when I told him this one...
 

I am holding a fat baby covered in sores - or are they patches of eczema - and wearing a light blue onesie.  I don't recall ever bathing this baby - next time I need to tend to his sores.  We are at a long table with Mark next to me, and a 4 year old Chloe next to him.  There are many other people there and we are all seated at long tables.  I look over my left shoulder and see a large shape I can't quite figure out - its on a window ledge or window seat.  The colors are greens, yellows, browns.  I recognize scales and it starts moving.  I yell to Mark and he yells to everyone that it's an anaconda. It turns into a giant blue and black fish that swims in air.   Everyone is jumping up and screaming.  I am holding the baby who is getting really heavy and a lady rushes up to me, thrusting an old Blackberry out to me telling me to call the daycare right next to us while she goes to get help and warn them.  Why didn't she just take her phone?  I have a hard time remembering the number she is giving me and she repeats it several times.  She says to not press the last number until I am ready to call so I don't use up her minutes.  The last number is a four.  When I do this and call, a former co-worker picks up.  I tell her there is a problem at our daycare (so we are all at some sort of daycare) and that I have a baby by the way, and he sure is heavy.  I am struggling to hold him.  She laughs and says she will come right over.  I look back towards the building as I am standing outside of it and see a bizarre scene.  Everyone is in tattered rags, holding up some sort of animal over their heads with both hands, swaying.  (are those fish?  otters?  seals?)  The place looks post-apocalyptic.  The building are no more than shacks.  The ground is bumpy and covered in weeds.  Everyone is wearing tattered brown clothes.  The sky is a very weird color - everything looks so lifeless but there are so many people.  The dream ends.
******
Why am I having such vivid dreams?



Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Mind your own

I've been trying to limit my time on Facebook, and I have actually culled through some of the people and places I "follow".  But one of the things I had been doing lately was "checking in" whenever Hubby and I found a new place to try.  After all, we work hard during the week so that we can have fun on the weekends.  Nothing wrong with that.  We don't go have a beer or bottle of wine to get drunk.  {and if I do have too much, its by accident and always at home where I let my guard down!!} We go to sit and admire scenery, or listen to music, or play cards, or have conversation in places with other happy people.  And guess what?  We are legal drinking age.
 {and have been for 40 years...}


So when someone at work suggested OUT LOUD to everyone in earshot that "Gina is always posting about where she's drinking"  I felt embarrassed.  I immediately went on to my FB account and deleted a lot of posts that referenced drinking - I don't want to send the wrong message to anyone.  And if one person thinks that, maybe others do, too.  And yes, I know that the core issue here is people minding other peoples' business and broadcasting it at work.  So maybe work people and FB don't mix and that's the real problem.  I don't know.  I don't think I should have to justify how I spend my free time.  I worked SEVENTEEN years on weekends, opposite Hubby's schedule.  And now we are doing what everyone else does who works Monday through Friday.  We are enjoying our days off together.  So I'll post about that less, and you FB peeps can mind your own.



Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Earworms

From time to time I will get  song stuck in my head.  Well, actually it is happening a lot lately.  Sometimes a snippet of its lyrics will play over and over.  Sometimes just the melody.  And from what I've read that could mean a whole lot of nothing.  But its odd to me what the song ends up being.  A few weeks ago I remarked to Mark that Save The World (a brewery) must have a 70's playlist on their Pandora station.  One of the songs I remember from waaaay back is the one about
Casey Jones (ca. 1971):

Lyrics
Driving that train, high on cocaine,
Casey Jones you better watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
This old engine makes it on time
Leaves Central Station 'bout a quarter to nine
Hits River Junction at seventeen two
At a quarter to ten you know it's travelin' again
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Trouble ahead, Lady in red
Take my advice you'd be better off dead
Switchman's sleeping, train hundred and two is
On the wrong track and headed for you
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better watch your speed
Trouble ahead trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Drive your train, whoo
Trouble with you is the trouble with me
Got two good eyes but you still don't see
Come round the bend, you know it's the end
The fireman screams and the engine just gleams
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Driving that train, high on cocaine
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed
Trouble ahead, you know, trouble behind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
And you know that notion just crossed my mind
Songwriters: Jerome J. Garcia / Robert C. Hunter
Casey Jones lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
******
Its nothing I would have listened to by choice, believe me, and its stuck in my head but good.  In the past I've gotten rid of an earworm by listening to it all the way through, then listening to something else right afterwards.  But DAMN IT last weekend, they were playing it again at STW and it is still in my head.  I'm really trying not to think its a problem, and most of what I have read on the topic indicates it is not.  But seriously?  Grateful Dead?  Ugh.  Its like being trapped in the 70's hippie culture via drug-themed music.  Not my favorite thing...
Sorry, Jerry.



Thursday, February 7, 2019

Dream feelings #3

I am walking up to a house, surrounded by a path that my Mother is mowing - I know this, even though I can't see her because the mower is roaring up ahead.   She is blazing a trail close to the very large house, but there is very tall grass on one side of it. It looks like there is gravel under the area she has mowed, like the crushed rock driveway at Highlands.  Along the way I am picking up nails and screws - they seem to be multiplying.  I'm thinking "She really should be more careful, these could hurt her" as I am stooping to pick them all up.  I show them to my sister Melissa who appears suddenly inside the house with me.  She agrees it is a problem.  The inside of the house does not look familiar, but it is very cluttered and messy.  Another woman is there, but I never actually see who it is - I just assume its my sister, Alene.  We are looking for something to cook for mother.  I'll make spaghetti - no wait, there's no sauce in the pantry.  Maybe stew - oh, no meat.  On and on this goes.  Every dinner idea is missing a crucial ingredient and we just never seem to get the dinner going, leading me to feel increasingly frustrated like I cannot help.  {like those dreams where you never reach your destination}.  Then the dream ends.


Holy cow, that wasn't a fun dream. 
The mowing, nails and screws, and crushed rock road - all bits from Highlands.
The bits with Melissa and Alene obviously a reference to caring for Mother.  I never saw Mother in the dream.  But the house seemed huge like the task before us - what to do about Mother when the time comes?


Tuesday, January 29, 2019

A simple pleasure

Mark likes to remark that he doesn't need a lot of money.  That's it all about "scale and scope" when we go out to eat or drink.  I agree - it doesn't take fancy to make me happy - I'm definitely not into over-dressing as well as over-paying just to get out of the house for an hour or two.  And that's fine, because there are some very wallet friendly places that I love to visit.


Like getting a beer at Celis.  Or any of the other places we like to visit: Save the World, Oskar Blues, 4th Tap, Adelbert's, San Gabriel Brewing Co., Family Business, Twisted X, Middleton Brewing Co., Circle Brewery, The Dig Pub...I could go on.


Beer, as it turns out is easier on your budget and maybe on your head, as well.  Breweries are mostly friendly places but folks tend to mind their own a little more at a brewery. {I've noticed that at wineries, people want to interact more...why is that?}  A brewery is not the type of place that someone will continually check on you to "see how you're doing" and offer to sell you a cheese plate.  Mostly the people who work at breweries are there to 1.  Make beer, and 2. Serve beer.  Memberships are not something they do (though Celis is launching a program soon and we shall pass on it)  Beer hangouts are full of all kinds of folks - young and old.  They like to sit at tables playing games.  They bring a picnic of fried chicken from Bush's (ok, that was us). They get loud and no one cares. And they don't dress up, that's for sure.  
I still love going to wineries, its just that breweries are a different vibe.  And for right now, I am loving how laid-back and relaxing just having a well-crafted beer is.
Simple pleasures!


Monday, December 31, 2018

Feeling bratty

I'm sure Mark is about done with me at Christmastime...I returned a bunch of stuff he bought me.  I argued with him about how much we were spending, how we shouldn't count the number of gifts everyone got.  I pestered him about what we were getting whom.  I never set a budget and I overspent on him - and I think he didn't really like everything I bought.  I took down some lights that he spent about 30 minutes wrestling with to get up.  And I announced two weeks before Christmas that I was over it. And by the time it happened, I DID feel truly over it.  And yet, it actually was a really good Christmas with my peeps.


I don't really know what to say in my defense that doesn't sound bratty.  Because I felt bratty about it.  Christmas seems to be getting a little less magical each year and now I can understand why my mother has gradually gotten to a place where she refuses to celebrate it... This year, the things that brought me joy weren't the things you could buy.  I made a couple of gifts - that was fun.  Three of us watched a few Christmas movies (the boys no longer want to).  I got to visit an old friend and my mother - both nice visits.  Mark and I took a break from the shopping and went to wineries that were festively decorated and happy places - super fun.
Way back when, when we were going to church on Christmas Eve?  That was nice some times, stressful on other times, and we decided to drop it.  But maybe we should find a way to add that aspect in again, without resorting to "visiting" a church we don't belong to, where we know no one, and going through the motions while internally wishing it was a shorter service - cause that's what was happening...
And maybe I need to do an attitude check here and jot some ideas down for next year that might make a difference for myself and my family.  'Cause I sure don't want the year to end on a bratty note.



Monday, December 17, 2018

Paddling

 I am off today and have my list of things to do all ready...so for a few minutes I will sit in my clean kitchen and admire the quiet calm...


Then I will shower and change and very calmly, so as not to rock the boat, I will paddle out into civilization to get my car cleaned, get an oil change, finish up a couple of gifts, buy groceries, go to the bank...then return home, berth the boat, eat some leftovers for lunch, read a book, and put together a gift or two. 
Wine will be enjoyed, also.
Its starting to be that time of the Christmas season where everything seems to be very RUSHED and STRESSED.  So I'm going to paddle softly through the waters as best I can.
And what I don't get done today can get done another day...