This is becoming a recurrent dream theme.
The only reminders of camping or scouts are two shelves in the garage.
Last night, and not for the first time, I dreamed about the garage. It was a huge area, full of shelving that went up to a 12 foot ceiling, stuffed and disorganized. I was going around organizing things, then I would notice that Mark was adding random things in, as fast as I was trying to straighten it up. At one point I looked up at the wall and he had hung two folding lawn chairs and a one piece zippered work suit (you know the ones old men wear? that.) There were things stored so high up we would never be able to access them. The kids were younger, underfoot, and trying to play in there with Legos and such. There were toys and camping equipment everywhere. I opened the garage door to go around the house to the trash bins and we were on a boat! A giant boat in the ocean under stormy skies, with people wearing life vests, socializing and playing around near the bow, waves crashing all around like a storm. Like a party! I thought, oh no, I'm not going out into this, and closed the door. The dream ended.
A legit nightmare for me, processing all the stress and I have over the state of my home while we were raising our children here. And the resentment I feel with being left to handle it.
What is it about garage dreams as a widow? Not quite the same but glimpses of my own and I've read others too. The being left to deal with things alone really hit home.
ReplyDeleteThe garage is the epicenter of the resentment and anger I felt when Mark died. It was the one big thing we could never agree on - tempers flared, terrible things were shouted. Then being left with the chaos of it very nearly sent me over the edge.
DeleteOh, I'm so sorry, Gina. I can see how upsetting that dream would be. It's crazy how our brains process and represent turmoil and when we're trying to reset, rest and reboot. It doesn't seem fair. Hugs to you...
ReplyDeleteI think I'm just cycling through it, trying to reconcile it. But yes, it kind of sucks.
DeleteSo sorry, Gina. I can understand the feeling. I'm not widowed, but have been divorced for many years now and I still have dreams like that sometimes (not garage-related as we didn't have one) and wake up angry. It's incredible how our brains get stuck on these things.
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere that divorce and spouse death grief can feel similar. Both are big stress events for our brains.
DeleteThat is a crazy, vivid dream!
ReplyDeleteI feel like all of them are. I could use a break.
DeleteSome time I run my dream though A.I. I had dream that I had to spend a night in bank, and they had $3 bills.
ReplyDeleteI feel like dreams are really specific to the dreamer, so it follows that dream interpretation is up to the dreamer. (:
DeleteWow, that really does sound like a stressful dream. I can see why the garage felt like such a nightmare, especially with you trying to organize everything while more things just kept piling up!
ReplyDeleteIn real life it was rather a nightmare too...
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