Waaaay back in December of last year, as I tackled cleaning out yet another closet, I pulled down all of the old photo albums, and extra pictures, and boxes of negatives and decided it was time to purge and condense.
I had a plan, and it was simple. But the actual project took me places I did not want to revisit. Those sweet faces! (I rarely see them) That handsome, smart husband! (gone) Remember that house? Oh, look - long gone family members. So many long days, so many short years. I cried buckets through 5 of these 100 page 3 ring photo albums. And don't even know if the kids will ever look at these albums.
I made tough decisions about what to save for posterity.
It was a difficult trip back into the past. So I did what any reasonable person would and I procrastinated, mean-mugging that table every time I sat in the den to read. I wrote notes to myself in my desk planner ("get it done - this week!") But somehow, I just never could. There is such a contrast between my life then and my life now. Back then, everything on photo paper looked rosy - the kids were smiling. We went places. We celebrated. I documented some very happy times. But behind the camera was a mom who was juggling more than her fair share, and constantly having to give in to someone else's plans and whims. I lost a big part of myself in the process.
This is why you don't immerse yourself in the past.
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its so nice not to see that table here!
Just one more thing I wanted to talk to Mark about. But I'm working my way through it, trying to reframe it, and maybe in the future it will be easier to look back at those photos. And the bonus is, that project is DONE!
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