Dream feelings #20 - Widowing and Parenting

 We will call both of these #20 since the first one was so short. And actually both dreams have a link with Grayson.

Dream A:

I am climbing a very rocky mountain, lots of boulders, around and underneath them emits a blue glow. I see the foot of the climber above me step off a large loose rock and I think, "well I can't climb on that and I need to take care of it".  So I get on the opposite side of it and push it off the mountain. I hear it crashing below me and look to see it blocking a river right where it leads into a lake or ocean. Well, that can't be good. Other people stop to notice what I have done.

Just an FYI - I don't rock climb. However, I have been handling issues and problems that come up in a calmer way than I did 5 years ago. Sometimes it feels like an uphill trek on rocky ground. 

I mean I guess he could be a Louie

Dream B:

I enter a house that belongs to an old co-worker/friend - she greets me and we walk into a very large closet where there are fluffy blankets hanging on giant coat hangers, and she hands me either a pink or blue one. I look around the house and notice large windows with a beautiful natural view, the rooms having multi-level floors, lots of people. We chat for a minute then I say I need to find my youngest child, Louie. I walk around looking for him and realize I might not recognize him. I ask someone about him - Spencer? - but he has no information about him. Where could he be? How will I find him? How old is he and when is his birthday? Is he my 5th child? These Q's swirl around in my head as I come across Grayson. Are he and Louie one and the same? I ask him how things are going and he says not great. But he has some news he thinks is good. There is a man seated at a table with no shirt on, sweaty and red. Turns out he is trying to sell Grayson a scheme to make money. I tell the man "so you're a scammer" and I start questioning him. He gets angry. Grayson moves off to the side to talk to this man's associate. But in that moment I know that the deal will fall through.

Make of this what you will, but I think it has to do with the last baby (blue and pink blankets!) growing up and moving into the wider world. I haven't seen him or Spencer in person for months. And I worry about them and the adult choices they make.

Widowing and Parenting - weighing heavy on my mind, I guess.